"A Scattering of Haiku"

For my Mother and Father, of course, without whom I would have never understood the importance of the written word.

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MY WRITE
transcription initiated 20040315
by
Scott Donald Sanderlin
Comments/Correspondence to:
sunfoof
(C) MMIV
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a scattering of haiku

there is too much to lose,
i stand at the edge, gazing,
feeling fear of then.

(>~~~~~~~~~<)

she looks at me long,
i feel peaceful and wonder,
shall i know her long?

(>~~~~~~~~~<)

tomorrow is there,
waiting, patient, for my act,
my soul wants to go.

(>~~~~~~~~~<)

i see beauty there,
she is no figment, no dream.
i am awake now.

(>~~~~~~~~~<)

to live is to feel,
joy and pain, brothers anon.
feeling is living.

(>~~~~~~~~~<)

she is an angel,
come to deliver
my spirit from turmoil.

(>~~~~~~~~~<)

i stand ready now,
i pray that she is with me,
together to quest.

.sds.19960317.

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I have noticed that much of 'My Write' is not dated. This one was, and dated for St. Patrick's Day, to boot! Anyway, I thought it would be an interesting one to start with. I'm not sure of the "she"; however, it may be in reference to a good friend, A., whom I met on my second return from hypermania. I met her, a fellow "client", in the halls of Vista. She was clinically depressed and receiving electro-shock therapy (ECT). She always came back from the procedure so spaced out and unnatural. Strange that such a practice, if amplified and punitive, is competitively denounced as inhumane and barbaric for the treatment of criminals who have been reckoned to receive capital punishment. Strange that allegations of barbarism are not espoused by a large socio-ethical interest group as regards the "therapeutic" treatment of persons with mental afflictions. [at least the Powers have curtailed the use of insulin shock therapy - at least that I know of] A. and I ended up having a brief, but no less fiery affair for a few months. Not necessarily the most appropriate or likely place to forge lifelong friendships, but there are worse venues. I'm not sure where she ended up. She moved away somewhere; I haven't talked to her in almost a full decade. Funny, it doesn't really seem that long ago by one reckoning. By another, it seems as though a lifetime ago. It would be nice to talk to her, to see how she fares. I'm sure her child has grown, too. What was her name? Molly? Maybe, I think that was it.

I'm not exactly sure why I chose to write in lower case, yet maintaining some semblance of grammar and punctuation. Who knows? I'm a dork if you ask my Sister. Right, K?

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To live is to wonder.
To wonder is to live.
sds